Preserving Traditions When Divorced

Personal Injury Lawyer

For children, divorce is always extremely hard, mostly because of the huge changes it causes in their lives, especially if an injury has occurred in the family, as a personal injury lawyer knows all too well. Sometimes moving is involved, split weekends between parents, and more. It is important to ensure that your child does not get caught up in the confusion. One way to help them is to try and preserve traditions you have always observed in the past, according to a divorce lawyer with our friends at Patterson Bray PLLC. They have put together some tips on how old traditions can become new in a divorce so that children can stay grounded in the confusion.

Stick to the Script

Try to keep doing things exactly the same as you did them before the divorce. In other words, stick to the script. If you always traveled on vacation every summer with your children, continue to do so. If you took your children for ice cream for their birthday every year, keep up that tradition. Not everything has to change in a divorce, and it is important to remember that for a child, divorce does not often make sense. They can feel lost and confused, so keeping things as normal as possible can help their mental health in the long run.

Make Small Changes

Obviously, not everything can stay the same after a separation. Try making small changes over time to traditions. If you always took your child to a certain ice cream shop for their birthday, keep the tradition of getting ice cream but maybe change the store you visit or the time of day you visit. Small changes like these will morph an old tradition over time into something new that is just for you and your child, without necessarily involving your ex.


Sometimes divorces happen because you and your ex were simply going different directions in life, which is completely fine. Work with your ex to ensure that your children are still able to maintain the traditions they love whether that’s going to a favorite beach spot every summer or going sledding together in the winter. If your divorce has not been amicable and you and your ex are not on good terms, consider working with a counselor in the best interest of your child. An objective third party may be able to mediate between the parents to come to a conclusion that supports a child’s traditions.

Start Something New

As aforementioned, nothing stays the same, especially with a divorce. Let your child know that you want to start new traditions. Ask for their input. Come up with a fun activity together that you can treasure for years to come. A child can often feel unheard during a divorce, so this really gives them a chance to speak up for something they want.

Enlist Help

It might be possible for you to preserve traditions for your children with help from friends and family. If during the holidays your spouse used to cook a special meal for you and your child, ask friends and family to step in and help. It can be fun to bring in other loved ones to also create new traditions while making small changes to old ones.

It is important for your child to have something known that they can return to again and again, sort of like a safety net or security blanket — this feeling of safety is often rooted in familiar traditions. Try to stick to your traditions as much as possible, even after divorce. If your ex is not cooperating in creating a safe and constant environment for your children, contact a lawyer in your area for help.